Current mood: inspired
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Today I am a confident, somewhat beautiful young girl. My ambition in life is to help others. That’s it. For three years I have actively helped young people such as yourself to overcome depression, self harm, bullies, and abuse. I have done this via email contacts and through the website allpoetry.com. On this website, I helped people to express their feelings through poetry instead of self harming. But I’ve not always been like this. Three years ago, I was just like you.
Let me take you back to that time. Three years ago I was fifteen years old, and I went to a local high school in Salford, Manchester. I was five foot seven inches tall, had long ginger hair, was spotty, wore glasses and braces and I was one of the most unpopular girls in the school. I was easy prey.
Because of this I was bullied, abused, attacked and manipulated to the point where I dreaded going to school in the morning. It got to the point where I would purposely make myself ill so that I didn’t have to go to school. I drank bleach, made myself throw up and slept in 5 layers of clothing to try to fool my Mum into letting me off school.
Eventually, as a direct result of the bullying and prejudice I was experiencing at school, I began to self harm. I carried a razor blade with me at all times – underneath the battery of my Nokia mobile phone. By November 2005 I was beginning to seriously contemplate suicide.
But then, on one of the days where I chose to actually go into school instead of bunking off to the local park, something amazing happened. A wonderful man called The Scary Guy (and yes, that’s his real name) visited my school. And he told me that I didn’t have to take this shit. It wasn’t mine to take. All the words that these vicious people spoke were a reflection of them, not of me. And it was with this realisation that I stopped hurting myself, stopped letting these people get the better of me, and decided to stand up for those that cannot do it for themselves.
Two weeks ago I was on Scary’s website (http://www.thescaryguy.com) and I decided to drop him an email and let him know of the impact he has had on my life. He phoned me up, and asked if I would like to spend a couple of days with him. I of course, agreed. The following blogs are a narration of what happened in those two days.
Today, in 2009, I am here to help you. I don’t know you, where you live or how you feel. I do not even know your name. But I am here for you, whenever you need me. And I will help you. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org in recognition to the man that saved my life. Whenever you have a problem, or even just a question about me and my life, just drop me an email. I will always reply.
You look radiant today.
Love you all.